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October
3, 2008
Is McCain
Able?
Electing a
Head Case
by Fred Reed
I frankly don't believe John McCain's medical
records, or at any rate the portions released to
the New York Times. The man was held in
solitary for years, tortured until bones fractured,
until he confessed to war crimes, until he tried to
hang himself.
That he broke can't be held against him: Almost
anyone would have. (In my view GIs should be told
to confess to anything whatever right from the
start.) But the assertion that he came through
unscathed, warm and humorous and psychically sound,
just isn't plausible. It doesn't happen that
way.
Now, PTSD. A lot of people, including vets,
don't believe that PTSD exists. I didn't. One
reason is that they tend to think of it as
something verging on the psychotic, as for example
seeing nonexistent snipers in the hedgerows of
suburban Philadelphia. The other common notion is
that those who have it dive under tables at the
sound of a backfire. Vets tend to think, "I don't
know anybody like that. I certainly don't see
snipers in the rafters. This whole PTSD business
sounds like a crock."
So it does. But it isn't.
And of course many people, chiefly men, regard
with suspicion anything that smells of
psychobabble, anything touchy-feely. To them PTSD
sounds like Can't-Get-a-Date Personality Disorder
-- something for Oprah to talk about to bored
housewives. So they dismiss it.
Let me de-babble the discussion and state a
simple fact: A lot of guys come back from wars
really, truly messed up in the head, and it doesn't
go away. They aren't going to talk to you about it.
They figure it's none of your goddamned business.
If you push, they will tell you so, angrily.
If you weren't in those forsaken paddies, they
think, if you didn't go through what they did,
you're off their radar screens. They'll talk to you
about football, the weather, and whatever happened
in the newspaper yesterday. Just don't even try to
talk about Viet Nam. Or whatever war it was. They
don's want to think about it, and talking about it
to weenies feels like being naked in a train
station.
There are a lot of these brain-burnt guys out
there. They don't want your pity. They don't pity
themselves. They just don't want to expose that
part of themselves to you. They put a wall around
themselves. You can't see it. It's there.
Often they seem like fairly normal guys with
three divorces who drink too much and their
children say, "It was like he was somewhere else."
Perfectly normal guys who have had seventeen jobs
because their bosses are always useless bastards.
Perfectly normal guys who live out in the desert
and do serious scuba or hang glide because they
just don't give a fuck.
Not all. Some manage to hold it together and
become things thought to be respectable, such as
senators or writers or defense attorneys. A
subsurface lode of hostility can be useful in a
trial lawyer. Anger is energizing. It can fuel a
career.
With PTSD, or whatever you want to call it, the
anger is the giveaway. These vets carry a load of
subterranean fury that you don't want to look at.
As they would say, I shit you not one pound. I know
a lot of these guys. A buddy of mine -- two tours
in bad places, killed a whole lot of people up
close -- now has no tolerance for frustration,.
He's ready to spread your teeth over a wide radius
if you even seem to think about getting in his
face. Admirable? No. But don't make the
experiment.
Sounds like McCain. His explosiveness is
notorious.
Another guy I know, writer, freelanced all his
life because he couldn't get along with people in
offices. A writer can package this as sturdy
independence, as being a colorful maverick. The
fellow is approximately sane, or at least
apparently sane. Get three drinks in him, bring up
the war, and his voice starts shaking and it's time
to change the subject right now.
A fair few PTSD guys become writers: It's
solitary, you don't have to put up with bosses, and
you don't have to be stable.
How do these vets get this way? Not by anything
you want to hear about, anything that you will see
on the nightly news. The RPG hits your tank, the
cherry juice cooks off, and three of your buddies
burn to death screaming because they couldn't get
out fast enough. You lose a leg and half you face
to a mortar round. You just see things: A Chicom
122 cuts a cyclo driver in half and you watch him
trying to crawl with his guts hanging out. He
doesn't crawl long. You get shot down over Hanoi
and spend years being tortured. The military is a
fun place. You have all sorts of unusual
experiences.
It messes your head up. I promise.
I said anger -- yes, but anger at what? At whom?
Here I'm on soft ground because vets don't talk
much about this stuff among themselves. At least
those I know don't. But, to the extent that I am
competent to judge, they aren't mad at those who
shot them, or shot at them. "The VC were only doing
their job." They hate those who sent them to a
pointless war, who exposed them in thousands to
Agent Orange, knowing that it was poisonous and
carcinogenic, at those posing fat-ass pols who sent
them to die for nothing while they ate prime rib in
DC.
Or they just hate. Psychologically the verb can
be intransitive. They don't know what they hate,
but don't get in the way of it.
Not all respond this way. Some choose to
intensify their patriotism -- it avoids admitting
that you have been suckered -- and direct their
hatred at the hippies, the liberals, the press, all
of whom they figure lost the war. But the anger is
still there. Most of the time, you don't notice it.
They turn off, often seem emotionally cold. But
that explosive venom remains. We're not talking
about a fiery Irish temper. We're talking half
crazy.
Those who seek help, typically from the VA, end
up on Thissa-dol and Thatta-dol, on antidepressants
and calmants and even antipsychotics. They sorta
help. Sorta isn't good enough with men who control
carrier battle groups.
From the New York Times story, "Mr.
McCain also learned to control his temper and not
to become angry over insignificant things, the
doctors said." I don't believe it. It doesn't fit
accounts of people who know him. It isn't how heads
work.
McCain is well known for his violent and
irrational temper. A friend of mine, Ken Smith, was
flack for Governor Mecham of Arizona during a
meeting with McCain. The governor somehow irritated
McCain. Says Ken, "McCain was leaning forward with
a clinched fist. I reached out my left arm, as
politely and as non-threatening as I could, and I
pushed McCain back. What I remember is how taut and
hard his body was, not from working out and lifting
weights, but rather from anger and adrenalin. I
made an excuse to leave and get them apart."
For what he went through in Vietnamese jails he
deserves sympathy and admiration. It isn't
qualification for the presidency.
Reed
Archive
Copyright 2008 by Fred Reed and reproduced here by
permission of the author.
About
the Author (by the author):
Fred Reed is a Marine combat veteran, police
reporter, amateur biochemist, former long-haul
hitchhiker, and part-time sociopath living in
Mexico. Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a
disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army
Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune,
Federal Computer Week, and The Washington
Times. He has been published in Playboy,
Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The
Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal,
Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a
police writer, technology editor, military
specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He
is by all accounts as looney as a tune.
Visit the "Fred
on Everything" website to read his previous
columns and sign up for his regular e-mail
feature.
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The essays in A Brass Pole in
Bangkok, are sometimes wildly funny,
sometimes deadly serious, always merciless
in their unmasking of the pretenses and
charlatans of society. Fred, a former
Marine, subscribes to no ideology ("an
ideology is just a systematic way of
misunderstanding the world") but
exuberantly wreaks havoc on practically
everything, and delights in everything
else: the psychotherapy swindle, squalling
feminists, race racketeers, damn fool
wars, red-light districts in Asia, and
tequila fests in Mexico, where he
lives.
A
Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire To
Be, by Fred Reed
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Buy Fred's new reprehensible book,
Nekkid In Austin! Another
collection of Fred's collected outrages,
irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry
from "Fred On Everything" and some
innocent magazines that, he says,
foolishly published him. Wildly funny,
sometimes wacky, always provocative essays
on the collapse of America.
Nekkid
in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a
Well, by Fred Reed
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